Alex Henderson

The Culture Wars 

Mike Huckabee's Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day: Homophobes Come Out in Droves to Raise Their Cholesterol and Say “No” to Gay Marriage 

But All the Homophobia in the World Won’t Cure the Economic Woes That Imperil American Families



By Alex Henderson
RealmNoir, August 2, 2012

Americans love their fast food, and they have all the heart disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure to show for it. But thanks to Republican theocrat and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, August 1 was not only a day for the more socially conservative fast food lovers to clog their arteries; it was also a day for them to express their disdain for gay marriage and support of “traditional marriage.” Huckabee declared August 1, 2012 Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day to express his solidarity with Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan T. Cathy, who recently came out against gay marriage—and the fast food chain did record business when homophobes all over the country turned out in droves. But if Republican social conservatives really want to support “family values,” here’s a suggestion: stop declaring war on the American middle class. Stop bashing unions, stop supporting corporate abuses, stop outsourcing American jobs, stop condoning the worst abuses of criminal banksters.

Heterosexual marriage is definitely under attack in the United States, but not from gay people and not from supporters of gay marriage. We can thank the country’s failing economy for that. When an economy is in peril, heterosexuals tend to delay or avoid getting married; if they’re already married, they tend to delay having children. And make no mistake: the United States is in economic peril. The U.S. is still facing the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression of the 1930s; the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ bogus unemployment figures don’t take into account all of the Americans who have been out of work for so long that they have simply fallen off the government’s radar, and according to economist John Williams (of Shadow Government Statistics fame), the U.S.’ real unemployment rate was a nasty 22.4% in December 2011. In January 2012, an in-depth Indiana University study on unemployment found that poverty in the U.S. had increased by 27% since 2006. Food banks and food pantries all over the country are filled to capacity.

None of those things are conducive to raising a family. In fact, they make marriage and child-rearing a very unattractive proposition for millions of Americans. Nonetheless, social conservatives will insist that gay marriage is the greatest threat that heterosexual couples are facing when, in truth, gay marriage isn’t a threat at all to “traditional marriage” (or as former Christian Right beauty queen Carrie Prejean calls it, “opposite marriage”). Even if gay marriage were to become a reality in all 50 states, the vast majority of American marriages would still be heterosexual marriages just as they are in countries where gay marriage is legal (the Netherlands and Spain, for example). If young heterosexual couples in Spain are deciding against getting married and having kids, it isn’t because the Spanish parliament legalized gay marriage in 2005; it is because Spain presently has the worst economy in Western Europe (24% overall unemployment and a whopping 52% youth unemployment in that country).

If the Christian Right can have their Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day, perhaps heterosexual supporters of gay rights can organize an appreciation day of our own: Gay Sex Appreciation Day. Here’s the idea: on Gay Sex Appreciation Day, heterosexuals all over the country can set aside a day to support gay businesses. Heterosexuals can celebrate Gay Sex Appreciation Day by having a drink or two in a gay bar; or, they can purchase gay porn DVDs and give them to their gay friends as presents. The specifics of Gay Sex Appreciation Day can be worked out, but just remember: you heard about it here first.

In terms of turnout, Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day was a major success for Huckabee. But gay people, married or unmarried, pose no threat to heterosexual couples. Bad economic conditions certainly do, however—and all the gay-bashing in the world won’t change that.

Alex Henderson is a veteran journalist whose work has appeared in The L.A. Weekly, AlterNet, Billboard, Spin, XBIZ, Creem, Skin Two, The Pasadena Weekly, JazzTimes, Cash Box and a long list of other well-known publications. He can be followed on Twitter @alexvhenderson. 

 

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (above) recently organized Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day to express his solidarity with CEO Dan T. Cathy's opposition to gay marriage.