Alex Henderson

Michigan’s Vagina Monologues: In Michigan, Republicans Declare War on Use of the Word "Vagina"

By Alex Henderson
RealmNoir, June 19, 2012

The Republican Party wasn’t always obsessed with being as sexually repressive as possible. The late Arizona senator Barry Goldwater, who was considered the epitome of an arch-conservative in his time, was a blistering critic of the Christian Right. But these days, the GOP and the Christian Right go hand in hand—and in Michigan, one sure-fire way to offend Republicans is to use the word “vagina” in public. Just ask Lisa Brown, a Democrat in Michigan’s House of Representatives.

Brown, speaking out against an anti-abortion bill that has been passed by 70-39 in the Michigan House of Representatives, recently told House Republicans (as well as some Democrats who also voted in favor of the bill), “I'm flattered that you're all so concerned about my vagina. But no means no.” Because of that comment, Brown was banned from addressing the House on that bill. Barb Byrum, another Democrat in the Michigan House of Representatives, was also banned from addressing the Michigan House on that anti-abortion bill. Brown complained: “Both Rep. Byrum and I were gaveled down without cause yesterday while voicing our opposition to the Republicans’ war on women here in Michigan. Regardless of their reasoning, this is a violation of my First Amendment rights and directly impedes my ability to serve the people who elected me into office.”

Michigan House Republicans (including Speaker Jase Bolger) say that Brown was banned for a lack of decorum, but truth be told, Michigan Republicans were offended by her use of the word “vagina.” And once again, Republicans resorted to one of the favorite activities of the modern GOP: fear-mongering around sex.

That isn’t to say that all Republicans are guilty of sexual fear-mongering. The libertarian wing of the GOP (as exemplified by Texas Rep. Ron Paul) and the northeastern “Rockefeller Republicans” (such as Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine and former New Jersey Gov. Christie Todd Whitman) have not embraced the Christian fundamentalist obsessions that now dominate their party. But Paul would be the first to admit that philosophically, he has more in common with the Libertarian Party than he does with the modern GOP—and it’s no secret that Snowe and Whitman have both lamented the fact that they feel unwelcome in their party for opposing the Christian Right. Other Republicans who resisted the Christian Right in the past (including Arizona Sen. John McCain and former Massachusetts governor and presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney) eventually knuckled under and bowed down to the Christian Right they once opposed. Romney once claimed to be to the left of Ted Kennedy on gay rights; now, he seldom misses an opportunity to bash the gay community.

Here is a mental exercise that might benefit any sexually repressed Republican who was offended by Brown’s comment: try saying the word “vagina” repeatedly. In fact, say it over and over again. Repeat it like a mantra: vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina. The more times, the merrier: vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.

Repeated use of the word “vagina” might not cure Republicans’ sexual issues, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.

In protest against the silliness of Michigan House Republicans, Brown performed Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues" on the steps of Michigan's capitol building in Lansing on Monday, June 18—and joining Brown was none other than Ensler herself. In anticipation of the performance, Brown sent out a message via Twitter (a tweet) saying, "I can't wait to moan." Brown, it should be noted, isn't one of those "godless atheists" that the Christian Right loves to whine about; she is a practicing Jew.

Whether it’s family planning, contraception, gay marriage, sex education or porn, much of the modern GOP will resort to sexual fear-mongering time and time again. It never fails. And heaven help a female politician in Michigan if she mentions the fact that she has a vagina.

  Alex Henderson is a veteran journalist whose work has appeared in The L.A. Weekly, AlterNet, Billboard, Spin, XBIZ, Creem, The Pasadena Weekly and a long list of other well-known publications. He can be followed on Twitter @alexvhenderson





Above: Lisa Brown during an appearance on "The Rachel Maddow Show" on MSNBC.